Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
