im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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