So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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