So drunk its hurt
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
