and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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