someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
