I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you had me at cake vodka
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
