..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
