Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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