oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
