Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
