Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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