p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you would pick up someone in the library
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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