now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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