How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
