Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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