Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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