He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
