So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
A+ Viking dick
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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