i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize