Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
These tits shall not be calmed
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
