So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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