Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
