apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
