we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
