At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
