Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
