I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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