I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
