Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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