Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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