i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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