saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
