What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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