We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
