My room smells like vodka and shame
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
