just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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