i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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