I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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