SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize