It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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