like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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