my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
