He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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