I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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