His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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