I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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