Can i not drive my cunt home
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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