My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
