I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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