what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
