She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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