PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
