Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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