We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
