i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We need to get me chipped asap
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize