Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
