Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
