Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to make out with him forever
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
