Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
