On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
